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If you would like to see examples of bad resumes, stop by Wellness and help us sort through the 100s that have come in. Each day for the past two weeks, Stevi and I have thrown away between 15 and 30 stupidly bad resumes. A few tips when sending your resume out: 1. If you email your resume, try not to send it from an address like "forbiddenlust@email.com" or "goofycindy@email.com." 2. In your cover letter, do not include the details of your husband's affair, your subsequent divorce, or your recent remarriage to another man. 3. Do not address your cover letter to "Gentlemen," unless you are certain it is going to only gentlemen. 4. "Using Internet Explorer" has not counted as a skill since 1994. 5. If you worked somewhere, spell the company's name correctly on your resume. 6. Don't scribble out your mistakes. Print a new copy. 7. Definitely check for typos in your resume, but extra check the sentence about your proofreading skills. We love irony, but we do not hire irony. 8. Your unpublished vampire novels and science fiction poetry do not count as work experience. I hope this is helpful. If you want to apply for the Secretary position at Wellness, you are welcome to do so. Send your crappy resume to questions@wellnessaids.org or bring it to me at the office between 10 and 6. Current Location: WASI
Current Disposition:  annoyed
Current Muzak: Wolf Parade
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I have been corresponding with "Tamara" from Skype Customer Support for the past week over something slightly frivolous that I don't want to let go.
I am starting to look forward to her responses, even though each one is just a rewording of the same message.
From: Bradley Woodruff To: Skype Support Topic: Skype Products Subtopic: SkypeIn Subject: Display SkypeIn Number Hello, The SkypeIn page says: "When you have your own SkypeIn number, you can set it up so it is displayed when you call someone on their phone or mobile. That way they’ll know it’s you who is calling." However, I cannot figure out how to do this. Please advise. -Bradley --- Hello Bradley, Thank you for contacting Skype Support. ---
I have no idea which remark you are referring to, but you are welcome?
Yes, you do have that information posted in your handy handy help pages. I am fully aware of that (now). Oh how I wish I'd had the foresight to read all the help pages before purchasing the service. Silly me, I relied solely on the information on Skype's website (which says explicitly that I can do something that cannot actually be done).
I am fully aware that Skype could care less about how ridiculous I think this is (though I do appreciate your canned apologies, thanks). I'm also certain that I'm not the only person who has complained about being misled in this way. Of course Skype is fully aware of the ambiguities on its site. That's why they have the muddled help pages. And they have you to send me links to the muddled help pages in case I can't find them on my own. And you dance around my actual complaint because you know, and Skype knows, that the caller ID issue is intentionally unclear. Eventually I'm supposed to realize I'm not going to get anywhere and quietly give up.
It makes me ever so sad. Since Skype first came out, I held it in such high esteem. The Linux support is what wooed me. But now Skype just leaves an unpleasant corporate blah flavor in my mouth.
Or flavour, if you prefer...
So, if I cancel now, may I have my money back? I really have no desire to remain a subscriber for the next year.
Regards,
Bradley
Current Location: Downtown Flint
Current Disposition: frustrated
Current Muzak: "Tree Hugger" by Antsy Pants
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I don't even know how to respond at this point. I will come up with something. ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Alex Date: Feb 26, 2008 8:18 AM no I ment that You are cute sorry I typed it wrong, and I we have not hooked up before, and wow you got me down soild cause I think i am so-so, we could meet up sometime, what are your turn ons? ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Bradley, Prince of Flint Date: Feb 26, 2008 2:16 AM Dear Alex, Your message is a little unclear. Are you asking if I hook up with cute guys because you're cute so therefore if I like cute guys I would like you? Or are you asking if I hook up with cute guys because you think you might recognize me from a past hook up? Whatever the case, I only hook up with so-so guys, so the answer is no (unless you are, in fact, only so-so looking. If you are, maybe we actually have met before or should meet up sometime - let me know). Have a good day, Bradley ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Alex Date: Feb 25, 2008 11:12 PM damn you are really cute, I feel like we have met before, IDK you look familer, do you ever hook up with cute guys? Current Location: WASI
Current Disposition:  surprised
Current Muzak: Imogen Heap
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One day I will put together long-ass stream-of-consciousness sentences and with them I will woo men via MySpace. Like this guy, Alex: Subject: damn
Body: damn you are really cute, I feel like we have met before, IDK you look familer, do you ever hook up with cute guys?
You must know I have spent too much time analyzing this message. At first I thought he was asking if I wanted to hook up with him. I wondered why he specified "cute guys," rather than just "guys." I imagined this being his thought process: " Do you ever hook up with cute guys? Because I am a cute guy! So we could hook up!" But after rereading the message thirty times, I considered how people usually follow "you look familiar" with where they think they met you. If the message were a conversation (which makes some sense since this guy clearly isn't a big writer), it would resemble this in his head: Alex: Damn, you are really cute. Brad: Uhm... thanks? Alex: Have we met before? Brad: I don't think so. Alex: You look familiar. Brad: Hmm... Alex: Do you ever hook up with cute guys? Brad: I do! All the time! Alex: That must be where I've seen you! Brad: Surely... After staying up much too late thinking about the intent of his message, I constructed one of my infamous MySpace responses which should put the matter to bed: Subject: Damn?Body: Dear Alex, Your message is a little unclear. Are you asking if I hook up with cute guys because you're cute so therefore if I like cute guys I would like you? Or are you asking if I hook up with cute guys because you think you might recognize me from a past hook up?Whatever the case, I only hook up with so-so guys, so the answer is no (unless you are, in fact, only so-so looking. If you are, maybe we actually have met before or should meet up sometime - let me know). Have a good day,Bradley Current Location: Downtown Flint
Current Disposition:  awake
Current Muzak: "Inflammatory Writ" by Joanna Newsom
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accomplished
confused
geeky
blank
Delve Into the Past![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
